When we both hold the same thought that we are not to have children, the message becomes clearer and clearer. Someday, when the time is right, these beliefs will transcend into a different mode of thought. Right now, since we are still torn between the created world and the real identity of the universe, it would be detrimental to introduce a clean slate and attempt to remain balanced. We would be too concerned that society was bleeding into this pure, celestial entity. The message we want to exude is not clear in our own minds yet; therefore, we are cognizant of the fact that we would fail in keeping this entity pure because we still are.
What is one of the ultimate goals of letting go, becoming a being meant for all beings? When I come back in the next life, I don't want to have to kill myself again (yes, this is selfish, but don't you want to be loved your entire life too?). There are aspirations that someday we will be born into love, remain in love, and once our higher consciousness develops, love will be all we are, and then we will be able to move beyond that. So, if one of my "jobs," if that's how we want to label it, is to be a teacher of the undefinable, then one of the goals would be to create an existence where society no longer holds any bearing, where I am selfless, so ego is not taught to the children I speak to. In order to continue down this path of resistance (to what you hold true, not what is true), at some point, I will need to leave everything, to leave all of you, to break down every single aspect of my prior being. The tears come because of all the painful emotions that confrontation causes. Just the thought of forcing isolation, knowing the jubilant journey that awaits, causes the emotional energy to gravitate down your cheeks.
If you truly love me, you will understand, without question, that there are no expectations. There can be nothing written that will be able to look into the future and see what the end result will be. If there were expectations, what needs to be accomplished would become tainted; it wouldn't hold the candle of truth. There will be no failure, no success, no attachments. This is the path that one day will be followed. This is who I am. Please, look into my eyes; you will not see fear, so I ask you to not fear for me. I will be ok; everything is going to work out because this is where my feet have chosen to walk. This journey can't be wrong because it was born from the deepest pain, which now beautifully flows as love. So, don't look with your eyes anymore; they are just instruments of indoctrination. See me for who I really am, and you will begin to see a reflection of yourself. You will write these same words someday, albeit through your own experiences. So, open up the book of life and let everyone reflect upon your being.
This post was written on December 12, 2006.